Financial Issues

Being on your own is so hard. I never struggled until now. The job I used to have closed in May. Now I work at Target for a pathetic $8.00/an hour and am trying to survive on a sad 10 hours a week - not by choice. I'm available open-close every day of the week.

I was enrolled in school for this semester. For some reason, I was denied Financial Aid and wasn't able to get loans because it's part of Financial Aid [that doesn't make sense to me]. I signed up for the payment program to pay for my tuition. I ended up withdrawing from the semester, though, because I couldn't afford to pay tuition every month. The school still took out the first payment [$350]. I had $291 in my checking account so I went negative and got a $35 fee. Then all of my other transactions went through, making my account even more negative and getting even more $35 fees. I'm now over negative $700 in my account.

I'm getting a refund check from the school for the $350, but they don't send them out until February 1st. I'm going to the bank today to talk to them about all of my other transactions and negative fees. Hopefully everything's reversed and I'll be positive again with $350 in my account. Yesterday, the bank took money from both of my savings accounts [one I set up for the baby] to go towards my negative account, WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE.

I don't know what to do anymore. I stopped paying my credit cards because I can't afford my payments - not even $10. I hate this situation I'm in. How am I supposed to survive after the baby's born and our roommate moves out? Can Aaron and I afford everything on our own next year?

Infant Safety and CPR and Lamaze Classes.

Thursday January 14, 2010, I had my Infant Safety and CPR class. A lot of the things I already knew - cabinet locks, rear-facing car seat, etc. I did learn how to do CPR on a baby, though! I just hope that I never have to use it.

Saturday January 16, 2010, Aaron and I had Lamaze. It was very long because we signed up for the one day class since we can't afford to take off five Wednesdays in a row. We learned a lot, though. I wrote down a few questions that I want to ask my doctors. I always wanted to try giving birth without any medication and because of class, I'm now 98% against it. There's still that 2% chance, though, and no one knows what can happen. I really want to try it naturally. I don't want to be high when my baby's born. I want to actually be "there". I don't want forceps used at all. That's one thing that annoys me about doctors. They think what's best for right now and I don't want that. I want the baby to come out when he's ready. My doctors induce you if you're a week over your due date. I read that they should allow you to go at least two weeks over. I'm going to talk to them about that, too. I really don't think Peanut's going to be late, though. I think he's coming March 3rd [my due date's March 10th].

32 weeks, 6 days.

There has been a ton going ton. My hours at work have been cut down to 10 a week. Aaron graduated college in December. While I'm on maternity leave, I'm hoping to find a job I can stay at home for or a babysitting job that will allow me to bring my baby. I doubt I'll be able to find either so I'll have to struggle with my 10 hours a week.

We still have no names picked out for Peanut. We also have nothing ready: no crib, no bassinet, no bottles, breast pump, clothes, etc. I'm worried we won't get everything we need from the baby shower, but I guess we'll have to sit and wait and see what happens.

Maybe this is karma paying me back for all of my bad past decisions. I don't believe in karma, though.